| 1. |
Trust
your instincts. Those little red
flags are your best protection. If
something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t.
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| 2. |
Ask
for references. Any responsible
Dom should be able to provide at least 3 references of people that he
has played with and can guarantee your safety. Always try and trace those references back to people you
know. In other words – verify the
references as well if possible.
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| 3. |
Verify
that the Dom uses safewords and respects limits. Both by talking to the Dom and through his references. Any Dom that doesn’t respect limits or
safewords needs to be avoided.
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| 4. |
Let
someone know where you are going.
They don’t have to know what you’re doing but they do need to know
where you’re going. Give your
contact written or emailed confirmation.
Leaving this info on your kitchen table or home computer isn’t
safe. It’s too easy for a Dom who
intends you harm to go back to your place and remove that
information. By keeping it with a
third party – the information is safe.
If you’re emailing AOL to AOL make sure the person you send the
email to opens it before your visit so that it can’t be unsent.
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| 5. |
Set up
contact times with someone you trust.
When playing with someone for the first time make sure to set up
pre-arranged times to call your contact person and verify you’re
safe. Make sure the times are
pre-arranged with your contact person and “random” to the Dom. Notify him approximately an hour
beforehand that it’s time to call.
And make sure that your contact person allows for roughly a half
hour before or aftertime in case you’re in the middle of a scene. Any responsible Dom should be willing
to allow this.
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| 6. |
Always
make sure you have a backup plan for leaving early in case things go
sour. Don’t let yourself get
trapped into a dangerous or otherwise bad situation. This includes having a spare set of car
keys that don’t go into the Dom’s house with you and your luggage. This way if you need to escape in a
hurry then you don’t have to worry about finding keys that may have been
hidden on you.
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| 7. |
If
it’s a new city you’ll be visiting it doesn’t hurt to find out where the
nearest emergency services are.
Just in case.
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8.
|
Never
let someone tie you up in your own home.
It’s much easier for a potential killer to murder you in your own
home than in his. If you’re tied
up at your place he can simply leave – there’s no body to dispose of. Granted if someone plans something like
that…..they’ll find a way regardless.
But they’re much less likely to invite you over if they’re planning
to seriously violate you in such a way.
Also by going to their house to play you know where they live in
case the authorities need to be contacted.
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| 9. |
Ask for a picture of the Dom. He needs to be willing (as
do you) to send you a picture of himself BEFORE you show up.
Some Doms (like Myself) require your picture and/or
application before sending out one of their own - this is
fine. But any Dom unwilling or unable to send out a pic has
something to hide. Proceed with caution. |